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( Hard times)
learnuing to carry suffering with dignity
"O.K. I'm going to have a hard times kvetching period. And for the next 5 minutes I'm going to go bananas."
"The reawakening of hope is never painless. It's like running water over a frozen hand."
assuming responsibilty means not seeing onself as a
no douts, no regrets, no turning back because it is your decision to do so.
|loosing self imoportance vs loosing self worth
playin victim lookink for encouragement.
are you afraid of something?
(are these frears based on liefs that are true)
donner raison aux autres
comment s'aimer davantage
respect de soi:
les regles de l'autre
agir par la lpeur
naif sur les motif de l'autre
ce que je fais west contraire a mes valeurs-apporte aiss destime de soi
-defendre vses valeurs
cesser de concentir
|a word of caution:
we live in a fend for youeself society. this idea of not playing the victim can be used aainst people who need to be helped. its an easy way for us to not give a hlping heand when we see someonde suffering.
it helps to les the person vent out their frustration by letting them talk
here a re a few tips you can use to helpy uorself otr others
The yes but game:
Joe wants to get across a river.
Joe: "I don't have a boat."
Barney: "Mary has one I'll borrow hers"
Joe: "Yes but I don't know how to row"
Barney: "We'll ask Mary to row it for you."
Joe: "Yes but she's very busy."
Joe: "Yes, but I'll get seasick."
Joe: "Yes but I don't want people to see me this way"
The truth is Joe's not looking for an answer at all.
|"The real problem is very
deep, painful and complex. It has to do with negative feelings that come
up every time you think of going after your dreams.
That's where the arson part of reality. Really is it's not in reality. Its in your feelings. When you say I can't, its impossible. You're actually trying to do something natural but forbidden in our culture you're trying to complain.
But you've got to learn how to do it right.
What is the problem?
Why does that problem make your goal impossible?
I will never make it because:..(be as negative as you can be)...
If you can, start having fun with your negative feelings.
you've got to let negative attitudes and feelings happen. only then will you be ready for positive problem-solving, planning, and action
But remember: Trying to force a positive attitude is the surest way in the world not to get something done. A negative attitude will get you to do it.
The operative principle is:
Get it off your chest, and get on with it.
Get it off your chest and give up. (Big difference)
To keep your friends from running away from you when complaining, tell
them them in advance : "O.K. I'm going to have a hard times kvetching
period. And for the next 5 minutes I'm going to go bananas."
"My self-esteem is virtually non-existant
today. But I'm not going to worry about it. It's irrelevant. I can work
on my comic book without it. I'm a failure. I'm horrible. I'm an abomination.
An eccentric fool. I'll never make anything out of myself. I acknowledge
these feelings I have about myself.these feelings will have to be dealt
with. but for now, I roll up my sleeves and get back to work.'
learn to carry your suffering with difgnity. be prioud of the fact that you
have the innerstrenght to carry this pain and suffering.
evrything in the universe has its place. even your pain and suffering. if you have to carry this pain or suffering it is because you have the inner strength to carry it and overcome it.
you think you are imortal
and the decisions of an immortal man can be canceled or regretted or doubted
to assume the responsibility of ones decisions means that one is ready to die for them.
when a man decides to something hew muyst go all the way but he must take responsiility for what he does, he must know first why hes doing it and then he must proceed with his actions without doubts or remorse about them.
In her book(wishcraft), Barbara Sher recommends the following to deal with success:
utiliser famille comme avantage appui->merci
pas d'appui>je devient plus fort interieurement
|points faible a travailler
valorisation de l<enfant genie une fos adulte
desir de plaire il faut que les gens aime ca sinon il ne l<acheteraons pas
eviter de deranger
||Examples of "negative vibes":
"Negative vibes" hidden in words:
Why don't you get yourself a real job?
We all know artists only become famous once they're dead!
Your no good.
You're a worthless piece of !@#$%
Why do you...
Why did you...
Why don't you...
Is that all you've managed to do so far?
Sometimes the negative vibes come from the body language of the person, the way the person looks at you when you talk about your project.
You just get the sense that they don't believe in you
|parents traite lenfant comme une vache alait
pas le temps detre enfant
|Negative vibes can
also emanate from the self.
Thoughts such as "I'll never make it"
or interpreting what others do or say as lack of encouragement .
paresse shu bien
fuite du monde reel drogue
peur de l<echec/reusite/critique
"(...)If you continually expect an individual
to behave in a particular manner, then you are sending him telepathic
suggestions that he will do so. Each individual reacts to suggestion
according to specific conditions existing at the time, such an individual
will to some extent or another act according to the mass suggestion
how do i keep and protect my energy?
|How to send positive vibes to others
If you believe in what the person is doing.
- Express your admiration, and encouragement,
- Be useful to the person when ever possible
If you don't believe:
- Reduce physical and visual contact with the person.
Say to yourself:
- x is my friend and I want him to be happy
- I want him to fulfill his potential as a human being. I let life guide him to happiness.
To send positive vibes to oneself while awake:
Say the following to yourself and reinforce the thought with concrete daily actions.
-" I can do this"
- "the universe has given me these skills.i want to use them to develop my full potential and make the world a better place."
Bombard your mind with positive proverbs and thoughts even if you don t completely believe in them. Use these to motivate and discipline yourself to continue working on your projects
- Check out Raymond hull's 52 citations (How to get what you want)
- Keep an eye on what you eat
- Find time to do physical exercise
-practice meditation every 24 to 48 hours
Sending "positive vibes" to oneself during sleep